Bane of Existence
by malicious pixie
Summary: Dante and Vergil are at eachothers throats yet again, only this time, somebody wants in on the action.
1. A Mild Discomfort

Hey guys. Here's yet another Vergil and Dante fic that I've written when I should be updating my others. Don't worry. Updates will come sooner or later but I need to find time and inspiration.

So anyway, here's the first chapter of the latest

Enjoy

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Bane of Existence**

**Chapter 1: _A Mild Discomfort_**

Dante dragged himself into Devil May Cry, smelling, sore and disgruntled. He'd been out of town on a mission for the past two weeks and was dearly looking forward to a nice hot shower and a soft bed with clean sheets. Of course he'd have to settle for a lukewarm shower with poor water pressure, dirty sheets and a mattress that if slept on in a certain way, avoiding the protruding springs and overflowing padding, could be soft—ish. But Dante wasn't complaining, even the poorly renovated Devil May Cry seemed like the Ritz Carlton after being away for so long. And his biggest objective at the moment was just washing the smell of the demons he'd exterminated off his body. They were quite possibly the foulest smelling creatures ever devised in the underworld. And the fact that they had set up shop in a sewer system and broken down aqueduct had not helped matters any.

The devil hunter was about ready to kill his client for calling the stench a "minor discomfort." The severity of the awaiting smell had clearly been downplayed by the man and had Dante but known what was in store for him, there was no way in heaven or hell that he would have even considered taking the job. And why he'd stuck with the mission after his nasal passages had first been scalded by the odor was beyond him, but at least it was over, he kept telling himself—Well it would be once he could erase the smell from his body and possibly the memory of it from his mind. A memory of the stench was enough—and too much, he didn't need it following him around for the rest of his days, though he wasn't entirely sure that he'd ever be able to get it off.

Kicking in the doors so that they swung and reverberated off the walls, Dante caught another whiff of his clothing from the gust of wind it caused and nearly wretched. "OH MY GOD. IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE!" Dante growled and whipped off his jacket and shirt in one swift movement, grimacing as the garments brushed by his nose and the smell invaded his senses once again, dizzying him. "God dammit. That guy is so getting my dry cleaning bill and a punch in the face."

When the formerly glistening leather boots, now caked in unimaginable slime, hit the heap of discarded clothing, Dante was scowling even more. "Better yet. I'll just ram my boots up his nose and see what he thinks of the 'minor discomfort' then." The fetid aroma permeating the air as it rose up from the pile of clothing made Dante grab his nose, choking on it now that he was in a closed space. "And then I'll kill him," he gasped between short breaths.

"By all that is evil, have you never heard of soap and water? I don't remember THIS terrible of an odor from our previous encounters? Are you striking against basic hygiene, Brother, or is this a new battle tactic? You wish to offend your adversaries senses so that their heads explode?"

Dante turned to the strained voice behind him and his eyes narrowed at his scowling brother seated behind his desk. "Is it working?" he growled rather nasally from behind his cupped hand.

"Getting there. But I'd rather not meet my demise that way." Vergil stood from the desk and walked around, but ventured no further as it would bring him closer to the nose-hair-burning smell his brother was emitting. He visibly gagged and turned his face away before looking back, a composed, yet disgusted expression on his face. "Why don't you freshen up while I torch your clothes so we can get down to business in hopefully fresher air?"

Dante raised an eyebrow. "We have business?" he asked, stepping closer to his brother as Vergil took a step back from the enclosing smell. Dante smirked at his brother's reaction but it was hidden behind his hand.

"Agh…We always do," the older twin managed to choke out. "Now go douse yourself in acid and maybe the smell will lessen to a tolerable level." His eyes were watering as Dante moved closer and he stepped back.

"Ok." Dante grinned as best he could as he uncovered his mouth and nose. Much to his brother's discomfort and surprise, he stripped down to his boxers and hung his pants over Vergil's shoulder. "Here ya go, Bro. Knock yourself out," Dante half chuckled-half choked as he headed for the bathroom, knowing that his statement was literally an option for his brother.

* * *

A full hour later, Dante was dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt, standing back in Devil May Cry's outer office, toweling his hair dry and glaring at his brother who had taken up sitting behind his desk again. He noticed that his reeking clothes were gone and the hint of smoke from a fire was still present in the air but he was glad that the smell had died down some and that the room was being invaded by a cool night breeze flowing in from the wide open front doors, thought he wasn't happy that Vergil was making himself so comfortable and looking so relaxed in his place.

"So you're back." Dante wasn't hiding the annoyance in his voice as he watched his brother shrug and shift his legs onto the desk while crossing them and lacing his fingers together, resting his hands under his chin.

"You knew I would be," Vergil said simply.

"I know. But one of these days it would be nice if you just took the hint and stayed down"

"You know that's never going to happen." Vergil waved dismissively. "Like you, I'm much too stubborn to admit defeat. And you look forward to my visits just as much as I do."

"'Ch" A grunt was the only response Dante would give.

"You know you do. Don't act like you're not happy to see me, brother. You're just itching to strike out at me and continue our ongoing battle. How long has it been? 3…4 years?"

"A lifetime." Dante interjected moodily.

"True." Vergil tipped his head once in the affirmative. "All our lives I suppose, though it's really only gotten interesting in the past few years, don't you think? Once you quit whining so much."

"Hey! I never whined." The devil hunter narrowed his eyes and Vergil raised an eyebrow.

"Just like you aren't doing now?" he asked.

"Ye-dammit. I'm not whining. I'm yelling. There's a difference."

"Is there? Because it sounds to me like you're whining—Though maybe we need a second opinion. Where's that blond tart you adopted as a partner a while back? Maybe she can settle this for us."

"Trish isn't here," Dante said quickly and coldly, following up his statement with a sharp glare at his brother, telling him not to push it because he knew damned well where the incarnation of his mother had gone.

Vergil smiled at that moment, remembering what had befallen Trish, though he'd never actually forgotten. He just loved mentioning the blond woman every chance he got because he knew it was a soar spot for Dante.

"Missing our dear mother, Dantekins?" Vergil leered as Dante's jaw clenched. "Well of course you are," he said, slapping his hand down on the desk as he got up. "But don't trouble your little head over that skanked up version Mundus created of our mother. She isn't worth it. You knew that when I killed her and your opinion still hasn't changed."

"Bullshit," Dante spat, following his twin's movements with a glare. "I don't think like you, jerk-off. Trish was a person. She had feelings. And I DO give a damn about what happened to her."

Vergil snorted. "Well you shouldn't. And she's gone now so get over it. She was too much of a distraction anyway and sooner or later you're going to have to cut the cord and grow up like all the other little boys do. You can't always have some bimbo around to spoon-feed you and wipe your ass for you."

"Just shut up. Are we going to fight now, or what?" Dante was more than ready to grab a sword and run it straight through his brother's gut but he held himself back, hoping that a deep glower would be enough for the moment.

Vergil caught the look of pure loathing in his brother's eye and his amusement only intensified. "What? And miss this onslaught of feeble insults I get from you whenever we meet? Please. This part has always been my favourite. You're not going to take the joy of verbally ridiculing you away from me, now are you?"

"Guess not." Dante hissed, clenching the towel in his fists as he held it over his shoulders. "It isn't like you ever win the REAL battles anyway. Might as well let you have some victory so your self-esteem doesn't get blown, not that I care."

"Ah. Now you're getting into the spirit." Vergil continued walking around his brother, forcing Dante to turn his head around to keep him in view. "Go on," he goaded, "Take another shot at me. You're smack talk is almost a legend in itself, very nearly rivaling our father's memory in the underworld. Is that how you manage to win your battles? Hm? If not by the horrible smell, then by mental strikes at the brainless demons who probably can't understand half of what you're saying to them before you finish them off with a good swipe with your sword? Very cunning, Brother. But clearly you aren't good enough considering I still stand. Perhaps you should employ sharper wit. Your dumbed-down vocabulary is too primitive for me."

"Oh would you fucking get over yourself, Bro. Dammit. When the hell did you get so high and mighty."

"Sadly I was born with the knowledge that I am better than you. Superiority is such a curse."

"I'll bet."

"But you have your own share of arrogance I might add, Devil Hunter. 'Cocky bastard' doesn't spring to mind when your name is mentioned for nothing."

Dante's frown shifted into a smirk instantly at the comment. "True," he conceded, "But you're also forgetting the common opinion that I'm gorgeous and sexy as hell."

Vergil snorted loudly. "Now who's being vain?" he scoffed, "And I certainly have never heard those exact words, or anything of the likes from creatures worth counting. It must be all in your head. And I wouldn't be cluttering my mind with worthless fantasies of myself being groped and fawned over by a sea of mindless Barbie dolls if I were you. It isn't good to get caught up in your delusions, Dante."

"Shut up. At least I can safely say that I'm a kick-ass devil hunter. You know that from experience."

"Ah yes. That old argument." Vergil shook his head as he stepped around to face his twin. "It's taken a little longer than usual, but it always comes back to that, doesn't it Dante? My sorry little defeats against you."

"Guess it does." Dante stared his brother in the eye. "At least you can admit that you can't beat me."

Vergil chuckled lightly. "It isn't that I CAN'T beat you. It's just that I have not been able to as of yet, but there's always a first time for everything. And in this case, it will also be the LAST time. But feel free to believe whatever you like," he added in a lighter tone. "You're death will be proof enough that I am THE son Sparda and you the hopeless copy who hit it lucky too many times for his own good in the past."

Dante rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He'd heard enough variations of that statement from his brother in the past. He could probably recount them all by memory. "Are we doing this then?" he asked tiredly, "because I'm fucking wiped out from my mission. So either kill me now and become 'THE son of Sparda', or get the hell out so I can sleep and possibly be a challenge for your ever impressive self when you drop by again."

Vergil gazed over his brother, taking note of his slightly drooping eyelids and sagging posture he wasn't making an effort to hide anymore. "Fine," he said with obvious annoyance. "I'll be back tomorrow night. Think you can get enough beauty sleep by then, Gorgeous?"

The devil hunter nodded and snorted. "Yeah. I think that'll work."

"It had better because we're fighting either way."

"Whatever." Dante knew his twin would never fight him if he knew he wouldn't be a challenge. He watched Vergil march towards the open doorway. "See ya later, B-" He was only permitted to get that far as he suddenly found himself bent over and coughing from a sharp jab to his abdomen. The assaulting fist was still bent into his stomach and Vergil pulled it back with a smile.

"Sorry brother. I just realized as I was leaving that I was actually being nice to for a moment and it hurt me deeply, so naturally I had to share the warmth."

"Uhn…thanks…" Dante gasped out as Vergil turned on his heel.

"Tomorrow night then. Pleasant dreams, little brother."

His Twin was gone.

_

* * *

Tomorrow night?…hm…Excellent. The figure crouched on the lip of a nearby balcony overlooking DMC watched as Vergil walked out of the doors and disappeared shortly after in a cloud of dark smoke. He grinned wildly, his orange eyes glowing softly of their own accord. He was looking forward to the following evening's festivities just as much as the dark twin was, though he was certain he would get far more entertainment out of what was to come. He smiled again, holding dark strands of purple tinted raven hair from his eyes. His gaze focused on the devil hunter below, at last closing up his business for the night. __Tomorrow night then. I am so happy I can count on those two to be themselves. But then again, what good is a family without sibling rivalry?_ He laughed softly and leapt down from the balcony, sinking straight into the ground as the dark pool opened up to suck him in. The following night would certainly be entertaining for someone.The figure crouched on the lip of a nearby balcony overlooking DMC watched as Vergil walked out of the doors and disappeared shortly after in a cloud of dark smoke. He grinned wildly, his orange eyes glowing softly of their own accord. He was looking forward to the following evening's festivities just as much as the dark twin was, though he was certain he would get far more entertainment out of what was to come. He smiled again, holding dark strands of purple tinted raven hair from his eyes. His gaze focused on the devil hunter below, at last closing up his business for the night. He laughed softly and leapt down from the balcony, sinking straight into the ground as the dark pool opened up to suck him in. The following night would certainly be entertaining for someone.

* * *

Alright. I proofread something for a change, but I doubt it's flawless. As usual, any BIG mistakes, let me know. Otherwise I don't care.

Obviously a battle will ensue in the next chapter so stay tuned and lemme know what you think.

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	2. Reruns

Hey guys. It's been a really long while since I've made any updates (curse you school!), but I'm back. At least for this fic…at the moment. Sorry 'bout the wait but I've been incredibly busy since I'm nearing the end of my program and have to think about getting a job, or more school (gah).

Whatever. Back to happier things. I spent more time than I usually do writing and editing the dialogue in this chap so it's more of a verbal battle yet again, but don't worry, the action WILL begin in the following chap and you guys'll get to see the purple-haired dude…maybe.

Also, yeah. Don't know why the final paragraph in the previous chapter doubled itself but I'm too lazy to fix it, but thanks for letting me know.

And BIG THANKS for all the reviews thus far. As usual, you guys are great and I love hearin what you think.

So enjoy the next chapter and of course keep the reviews coming.

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Bane of Existence**

**Chapter 2: _Reruns_**

"Aren't you finished yet?"

Dante flipped over a sheet of paper and began scribbling on the next in the pile set before him. He heaved an exasperated sigh at Vergil's pointless question and hoped that the gesture would be enough to indicate that he wasn't and to stop asking—as if the stack of papers in front of him wasn't enough of a sign.

Either ignoring it, or oblivious to it, the sigh didn't work and Vergil spread his palms flat on the desk and leaned forward anxiously. "Well?" he pressed, frustration clear in his voice. Dante couldn't help another heavy breath as he tightened his grip on his pen with his ever-present annoyance with his brother.

"Do you see the papers?" he asked peevishly, directing Vergil's attention to his work with a sweep of his hand.

"Yes." A stony reply.

"And do you see the pen?" Dante held it up.

A grunt. "Yes."

"Good," Dante forced a smile. "You're not blind. So watch this." He began writing something on the awaiting sheet of paper beneath his fist, his eyes never straying from Vergil's as he did so. "Did you catch that?" Vergil glared at him, tight lipped and Dante shook his head. "No. You weren't watching. Look at the paper. I'll do it again." He quickly shifted the paper to the side but waited until Vergil finally lowered his gaze to the desk. Dante again wrote something.

"You saw it that time. Right?" he asked.

Vergil narrowed his eyes and gave a long hiss, "…yes."

Dante nodded his approval. "Excellent. Now do you still see all this paper in front of me?" he flipped through them quickly. "Does it look like I'm done to you?"

"No."

"Exactly!" Dante said with mock-joy and a fake smile. "So now I'm going to do exactly what I just showed you and fill out all the rest of these papers. And when this pile runs out, I'll be more than happy to kick your ass again."

Vergil ground his teeth, glaring at the pile as if he could will it away with his eyes. "I told you I'd be back tonight," he growled.

"So you did," Dante breathed, getting back to his work and his bad mood, trying once again to ignore his brother's hovering even though he'd been unsuccessful in doing so for the past half hour.

"I expected you to be ready to fight." Vergil ground out. He was tired of waiting and equally tired of his brother's lack of enthusiasm.

"Yeah. Well. I've got stuff to do," Dante shrugged and Vergil slammed a hand down on the desk to show his irritation at the lax reply and at having been forced to wait so long. He didn't know why he had even accepted to postpone the fight a little longer for Dante to do his paperwork. It was a moment of stupidity and Vergil was regretting his decision immensely as his patience was running dangerously low.

"You should have been done," he bit angrily, just holding back from shredding the remaining papers Dante was writing on.

"Says you," Dante muttered shortly.

"Of course 'says me'!" Vergil yelled. "I warned you that I'd be back tonight! You should have been ready to fight when I walked through that door."

"But you didn't give me a timeframe so how could I know when you'd be back?" Dante asked, moderately amused by his brother's anger, but not enough to show off his patented smirk. His mood wasn't high enough for that. "You should have come later if you didn't want to wait for me to finish." Another few papers made their way from the dwindling pile to his right side.

"I didn't know you'd be working. You're a fucking slacker. How the hell was I supposed to know that you'd actually fill out paperwork?"

Dante shrugged, shaking his wrist out to loosen the cramp in his hand. He shifted his elbow onto the desk to write more comfortably. "Everyone else is doing it," he said dispassionately, "I figured I'd give it a whirl."

Vergil folded his arms, eying the scene before him skeptically, unsure if he could trust his own eyes. Dante? Sitting behind a desk and actually doing work? The whole idea was absolutely absurd and he would never have believed in a million years that his brother was capable of such an act if he had not witnessed it for himself.

All he could do was stare and Dante looked up after a while, still feeling eyes boring into the back of his skull, but not sensing the usual hostility from his brother—more like curiosity and disgust.

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at Vergil's slightly wrinkled nose. He stopped the motion of his pen and Vergil shook his head, scowling. "It doesn't suit you."

The devil hunter snorted and took a minute to understand what he was talking about. He gave a meager grin. "Can't get around it, Verg. It's gotta be done whether you and I like it or not. You'll just have to wait till I'm done."

"I don't like waiting."

Dante rolled his eyes. "Believe me. I've noticed."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you going to get up off your ass and fight me, or do I have to forcibly remove you from that chair?"

Dante gaped at him. "Would you fucking relax Princess? Are you on a schedule? Are you afraid of turning into a pumpkin if you stay here past midnight? I'm not backing out. So just back the fuck off already. Go sit in a corner and shut the hell up until I'm finished here," Dante huffed angrily and stared his brother down. He was going to get up when he was damned good and ready and when Vergil saw this, he was back to leaning over the desk. His frigid blue eyes met his twin's equally icy stare.  
"We're fighting—NOW." He pointed harshly to the desk.

"No. And pardon me for not jumping at the opportunity to kick your ass again. But I don't see why you're so anxious anyway. Fights are boring and pointless when you know the outcome, don't you think, Vergil?" Dante questioned irately. He couldn't remember the last time he had called his brother by his given name, but in the context it sounded like an insult and Vergil growled at him for it."

"It won't be the same outcome," he stated tersely, "Dante."

The devil hunter snorted. "You actually believe that? Of course it will be the same. It always is. And let me tell you something else here, Vergil." Dante used the proper name again and it elicited another growl from his twin. He waved it off. He grabbed the remaining few papers from his desk and held them in a fist, creasing them uncaringly in the process. He gazed at his brother hard.

"When I fill shit out is not up to you. When I finish filling this crap out is not up to you. My work is done when there is no more left to do. I get up off my ass when I feel like it. I kick your ass when I feel like it. I don't make my schedule around anyone and especially not you because you're addicted to getting your ass pounded into the ground. Why don't you go find some kid to pick on if you're that desperate? I'm sure they'd be more than capable." Dante finished by slamming the crumpled papers in front of him and bringing his pen back into action. He wouldn't look up as he wrote, but he knew Vergil's eyes had flared at his comment and he could almost hear the grinding of his brother's teeth. With as often as Vergil had done that over the last 30 minutes, Dante wouldn't be surprised if he had worn them down to the gums

"And what makes you think you stand a chance against me this time?" Dante was angry now and he tossed his pen away, finished with his paperwork for the moment if not with his brother. He sat back with narrowed eyes, studying his twin. "What's different, huh?" Dante went on, more anger than amusement lacing his tone. "You got somethin' up your sleeve? Hoping for a miracle? What? Cause I'm doubting there's a chance in heaven or hell that anyone's helping your ass out. Not with this. This is our fight, like you keep saying. And I'm sure the higher powers have already condemned your sorry ass and Mundus knows you're a whole lot of useless. Probably why he lets you come here. Wants you out of his hair for a little while. Must be laughin his ass off every time you come runnin' home to him with your tail between your legs. Or maybe he's crying. Did you make the devil cry with how pathetic you are Vergil?"

Vergil's eyes glowed with anger and his breath came harshly though his clenched teeth. His fingernails curled into the wood of Dante's desk as he gripped it in rage. "You-"

"You call me sad!" Dante interrupted, spilling out his frustration finally, his chair falling back as he stood abruptly. "Boy you got a lot of fucking nerve." He motioned threateningly with his hand and then pointed to himself. "I'M not the one who eats dirt and refuses to stay down all the time. I'M not the one who goes running home to his 'big strong master' like a poor kicked puppy. I'M not the one who can't accept that I'm second best, 'cause—GUESS WHAT! I'm not, Vergil. I'm stronger than you. I always have been. Looks like I always will be. Get over this whole high-and-mighty act because it's just not working. It's a stupid cover for what you really are. You're not gettin' me with your lame-assed talk and stupid threats you wouldn't be able to carry out if your life depended on it."

Vergil was shaking with rage. "OUTSIDE! NOW!" He pointed to the door but couldn't hold his arm up for long.

"What did I tell you Vergil? I'm not going anywhere because you order me around. This is MY place. MY life. MY rules. You got a problem with that? Tough. I'm in no hurry to kick your ass again. It's boring for me. Even if it makes you excited."

"I-I'm not the o-one who should be-" Vergil quaked with rage and his voice shook on account of it.

Dante snorted and shook his head. "You're not the one who should be w-worried?" Dante interjected in a belittling tone. Vergil's mouth twitched as he just stood there, stricken with too my anger to be able to do much else. "Yeah." Dante nodded, knowing he'd gotten his statement right. "You always say that and I always beat you. Either come up with new material or stop being a wuss and defeat me so that that statement would actually make sense for a change."

"Oh. You can be sure that-that-"

"I'll feel the agony of defeat?" Dante noticed that Vergil was starting to regain control of himself as he only stuttered once. He frowned at the struggling devil. "Uh huh. I've heard that one too. It's still not funny. Who writes this crap for you anyway? I think we're working in reruns now—And speaking of reruns. I'm gonna spoil the coming battle for you because it's always the same and I see it every time." Dante moved around his desk, hazarding a few steps towards his brother who had his eyes shut and only his hands were still shaking as he clenched them into fists.

"First," Dante continued. "You're gonna lash out at me because 'Mr. Superiority Complex' always has to get in the first hit. Then…I'm gonna get pushed back a bit before I start to retaliate, ya know, just to boost your ego a little. Then, I'm gonna open up and kick your fucking ass. And to cap it off, and this is the best part," Dante moved right beside Vergil and whispered in his ear, "You're gonna run home like the sad sack of shit you are, crying to Mundus about your mean twin who won't let you win and then you're gonna take some time to regroup and come right back here to do it all over again. Sounds like fun. Doesn't it?"

Dante made to move away but Vergil grabbed him by the throat and turned his head to peer darkly at his brother's face. "Shut up." It was a little less than what Dante was expecting but the iciness of the words more than made up for the lack of conviction in the command. Dante could almost feel the temperature drop. He shivered, but nevertheless let his trademark smirk slip into place.

"Scary," he commented, "But is that it?"

"You want more?"

"Well it wasn't very impressive. You didn't even punch me. That's not like you."

Vergil released his hold on his brother and smiled. Dante cringed at how cruel he made a smile look. It was so forced.

"Are you disappointed, Brother?"

"Eh…no…"

"You don't sound convinced."

Dante didn't have time to bat an eye before he landed on the ground from a hard punch to his cheek. His eye killed and he raised a hand to rub it. He felt warmth run over his fingers and the sting of a cut just below his eye. He examined the blood on his hand with a frown.

"Feel better?" Vergil asked calmly, looking at the blood also. Dante stared up at him and rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. Thanks a bunch."

"Any time," Vergil offered.

"More like every time." Dante corrected. "You realize that that was exactly what I said would happen."

Vergil scowled. "You asked for it."

"Somehow I always do."

"Then maybe you should shut up for a change."

"But I thought you liked the verbal fighting better?" Dante pointed out. "Least that's what you said the other day. It's your favourite part…unless that's only when you're insulting me. Guess you can't handle the truth when it's put out there." He looked at his brother for a reaction and got a warning glare.

"Don't start"

"What?" Dante smirked. "It's not my fault your royal iciness is so easily offended. You gotta watch those fragile feelings of yours."

"I said SHUT UP!"

Dante was dragged to his feet, only to be knocked back down by a wide kick. He didn't let the pain bother him and he stood, brushing himself off.

"Ooh wicked temper too," he shook his head in disapproval. "I think that Mundus is a bad influence on you."

Vergil gawked at him before growling and stomping towards him. He roughly grabbed the devil hunter's shirt and threw him across the desk, causing the paperwork to fly and land all over the place. Dante slid to the end of the desk and half hung off as Vergil came around and hoisted him up by his collar and thumped him back on to the top of the desk angrily.

"You just don't know when to shut that gaping hole of yours, do you Brother?" He hissed with the steeliest glare he could muster. "You spew garbage like there's no tomorrow. Don't you EVER have anything worthwhile to say?"

"Do you?" Dante snorted but realized that was a bad move when he felt the edge of his desk press painfully into his spine as he once again found himself hanging over the edge of his desk, Vergil gripping his shirt tightly. Dante was only thankful that he hadn't gotten a hold of his neck again. He could feel the blood from his split cheekbone dripping into his eye.

"You wouldn't be PMSing so much if what I've been saying wasn't true—AGH!" Dante was lifted and crashed repeatedly into edge of the desktop in the same part of his back. The hard wood scraped along his upper vertebrae and he hoped to hell that the crunching he was hearing was just the desk. He knew it was when a splinter tried to rip through his coat but he was tossed to the ground before it was successful.

"Get your sword." Vergil kicked him, making him cry out as the sore spot on his back rammed into the ground to absorb the impact. "Get up. And get your ass outside." He bent down to stare Dante straight in the eye. His voice was nearing a whisper. "And Dante." He pushed a hand on his chest, forcing his back into the ground. Dante gritted his teeth to keep from verbalizing his discomfort again. "If you don't make this battle worth all my trouble and waiting. I promise that your death is going to be one hell of a painful ride."

Dante groaned. "Is that a promise?" he half-grinned.

Vergil pushed off of him angrily and strode to the door. "Up. Out. Now. And don't forget your sword, Brother."

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Well that's done with. Boys are battling in the next chap and remember to review. Also didn't proof-read this one so much nearing the end cuz I got tired, so I really hope that things flow properly and there aren't any big mistakes. Let me know if there are and I'll change 'em if I have the time and inclination.

Thanks again for the review guys and stay tuned for more.

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	3. Enough Chit Chat

Yes. Hell froze over and I have an update. Apologies for the wait.

Here's the next chapter

Enjoy

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Bane of Existence**

**Chapter 3: _Enough Chit Chat_**

Vergil stared at his brother in almost utter disbelief. He was so close to the point of openly gawking that he found it a strain to keep the usual scowl in place. It just wasn't humanly possible that Dante could be moving even slower than he was before. Not after all the yelling and all the threats and the minor beatings he had endured. It just wasn't right. And Vergil found himself cursing his parents yet again for giving him a brother so incredibly infuriating to be around. Vergil decided that he must have done something pretty devastating in a past life to be saddled with a sibling such as Dante. Either that, or he was already paying for his misdeeds in this life because nobody deserved this kind of torture.

An eternity would pass before Dante had gotten his sword and joined him outside. And Vergil wasn't sure if he hadn't already watched a few lifetimes go by just waiting for his brother.

Speed was obviously a term lost on the devil hunter. Even with Vergil's final order, Dante had only managed to master the first of his commands—Up. And even saying that was a stretch considering Dante was currently on his knees, moving papers around, and not standing as Vergil had intended by his words.

Vergil found himself blinking in hopes that he was imagining it all and he was more annoyed than relieved to find out that he wasn't. Dante was proving to have an even thicker head than Vergil had originally given him credit for. And it was a trait he had the misfortune of admitting they both shared.

Dante clearly wasn't worried by his brother's anger. Vergil could see that immediately. The cocky sonuvabitch actually had the gall to turn his back on him as he very pointedly ignored him. And the innocent whistling was driving Vergil nuts. His fists tightened unconsciously as if he were wringing Dante's neck.

Oh. How he wished he could wring Dante's neck. But he wouldn't show it. He wouldn't let Dante get under his skin this time. He wouldn't crack this time. He would not give Dante the satisfaction of knowing that he was getting to him. Not THIS time.

Vergil shifted to the edge of at the doorway and leaned on the frame, trying to act casual while he folded his arms and waited. He would have been a vision of patience had it not been for the steadfast glare he couldn't seem to dissolve. But at least he wasn't lashing out. And Dante would think he was trying too hard to stay calm if he wasn't glowering up a storm.

"Brother," Vergil began, waiting a moment to make sure Dante was listening. The devil hunter didn't turn around but he seemed attentive so Vergil went on. "You do realize that when I told you to get out here _NOW_ I meant immediately, right?"

"Yup." Dante reached forward and stacked some more papers. Vergil's eyes narrowed at him.

"So you heard me."

Dante glanced back at the door. "Kinda hard not to when you're all up in my face, there Bro. I'm not deaf"

"Shame." Vergil snarled, almost wishing his brother was hard of hearing. At least he could blame Dante's lack of cooperation on the fact that he couldn't hear his commands.

"What?" Dante raised an eyebrow, not sure what thoughts had followed Vergil's comment, but Vergil pretended not to have heard him. Instead he pushed away from the door and glowered down at his twin.

"You heard me and yet you're still inside," Vergil said steadily, proud of how well he was doing at keeping his calm.

Dante smiled and turned back to cleaning. "Uh huh," he answered lightly, unperturbed as usual by his looming brother.

"And you're still unarmed." Vergil finished pointing out the obvious.

Dante nodded. "You got it. Unless you're afraid of a few dozen paper cuts." He waved the papers he'd collected at Vergil. "I'd be. They sure sting like hell."

"…I see..." Vergil glared at the wad of papers like he could burn them up with his gaze as he took a moment to compose himself, then he fixed his steely eyes on the back of the devil hunter. "You heard me. And you're ignoring me." Somehow hearing it out loud was more maddening than just thinking it and seeing it.

Dante snorted. "Trying to Verg. But it's kinda hard when you keep talking. Why don't you shut up so I can pretend that you don't exist. You ruin the illusion when you talk."

Normally that comment would have been the last straw but Vergil was determined not to lose to his brother, so he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to clear his mind of everything relating to his brother and the last little while; things such as the fact that Dante had discovered a pace to rival slow motion and the way he somehow managed to make an eternity pass quicker than the time it should take to grab a sword and walk the few paces to the door; his whistling; his paper stacking. It was all driving Vergil closer to the point of cracking. There was only so much calm he could fake and so many imaginary necks he could wring before his resolve crumbled.

"Tell me you're not sleeping," Dante observed loudly, jolting Vergil away from his calming thoughts. "We haven't even started fighting yet and you're already tired? That underworld has seriously fucked up your stamina."

"I wasn't sleeping," Vergil growled, "But I am still waiting, Brother."

"Really?" Dante rolled his eyes, "Cause I thought you were just standing on my doorstep for the hell of it."

"Oh believe me. There are far better things to do than stand out here and wait for you to get your sword."

"Good. Then why don't you do them?"

A sigh. "Dante?" Vergil said in a strained voice, pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off his fast approaching headache. "I am very close to hurting you right now. I just thought that I would warn you so it isn't so much of a surprise when I finally snap."

Dante grinned broadly. "Yeah. Congrats on that. I'm surprised you haven't blown up yet. You're doing well." He deposited a stack of papers on his desk and Vergil watched him do so with narrowed eyes.

"…for the time being," he uttered levelly. "Now. Your sword?"

"What about it?"

Vergil gawped, absolutely speechless. He took a step back, waving a hand and clenching the other because he honestly couldn't think of anything else to show his surprise and frustration. Eyes bugging, he blinked madly like there was something irritating them. His brother was still playing the clueless idiot.

Dante furrowed his brow as he watched his brother struggling with himself. "You okay Bro? You look like you're short circuiting."

Close enough to the truth; Vergil was racing at light speed to the point of no return. He had gone well past livid and was searching desperately for a way to define his current feelings; so-insanely-pissed-off-that-I'm-going-to-spontaneously-combust-in-a-moment-and-I'll-melt-you-with-a-flaming-death-glare-if-you-so-much-as-breathe-in-my-general-direction seemed to work pretty nicely for him. He pointed to the wall; unable to trust his voice which he was afraid would come out as a strained squeak if he tried to use it. Dante followed the motion of his hand and looked where his brother was pointing.

"What about the wall Bud? Admiring my trophies?"

That was it. Vergil eyes flared and he gave up. Stalking to the wall, he roughly grabbed his brother's sleeve on the way and yanked him with him. "Sword…now," he breathed out, staring wildly at the floor and panting like he'd just run a marathon. "Out…Now…"

Amused beyond belief by his brother's state, Dante bit his lip to keep from snickering. He mentally patted himself on the back for finally making his brother crack, though he was still curious as to whether or not he could push it further. "Sorry? Out when?" he asked with a poorly concealed smirk.

Vergil's eyes snapped up and there was nothing but psychotic fury written in them. He snatched Alastor off the wall, twisted it around and rammed it through Dante's chest "NOW!" he roared as his brother yelped in surprise and collapsed. The fiery twin stomped to the door, dragging the injured devil hunter out with him by the collar.

"Heal yourself and stand the fuck up," Vergil raged, dropping Dante on the doorstep, "I have had it with your procrastinating. Do you honestly think you're being cute?" he kicked Dante and wrenched the sword out of his body. He let it clatter to the ground and glowered like there was no tomorrow when Dante whimpered quietly because of the rough action and made no move to stand.

Dante had never been much good at listening to the little voice in his head that told him to quit while he was ahead. He was even beginning to believe that he hadn't been blessed with one. And it was blatantly obvious that he'd pushed things too far. He should have at least armed himself before poking at his brother so much. But it was impossible to be cocky and smart at the same time, or so he'd learned.

Dante grimaced and fumbled a hand around for his sword. He'd forgotten what having Alastor rammed through his chest felt like and he quickly concluded that he still didn't enjoy it.

"Stand UP!" Vergil yelled and kicked out again, but Dante caught his ankle and pushed him back harshly. He looked up at his twin with shadowed eyes, his gaze nearly matching Vergil's fury. He'd been kicked around enough for the time being due to his mouth and his inability to shut it. Now it was time to return the favour.

In an instant Dante was on his feet with Alastor slung over his shoulder, looking like he was finally ready to get down to business. The warmth in his chest was a sure sign that his new wounds were healing themselves, so at least he wouldn't be held back by them for long.

"Where we doing this Sweetheart?" he asked flatly, eyeing Vergil as he steadied himself from the push.

Vergil almost sighed in relief at Dante's words and brought out his own weapon. "Here's as good a place as any, wouldn't you say?"

"I guess," Dante dropped his sword from his shoulder and pointed it out menacingly. "Ladies first then."

Vergil snorted and lunged. Dante countered the assault and crossed his blade in front of him to block. Metal clashed loudly as the twins swung their blades again and again, trying to catch the other fighter unawares and hopefully hit flesh. After ten minutes of tirelessly dueling, they separated and came together again with more force. This time they did not move their swords but instead leaned forward with their weight, pushing to gain some ground on the other. It was always a contest of strength more than a battle between them. When Vergil's foot slipped back an inch, Dante smirked.

"Yup. I knew you were losing your touch, Bro." He pushed again and Vergil gritted his teeth as he fought to stay in place.

"Losing my touch?" Vergil managed to scoff. "Then how's this?" He dropped his shoulder and ducked below their blades, launching his fist into Dante's stomach. The devil hunter clenched his muscles just in time to absorb most of the blow. He was used to his brother's underhanded moves by now.

"Sneaky," Dante commented, pulling back and scowling. "But predictable."

Vergil rolled his eyes. "Perhaps. But I still made contact," he observed and Dante grunted.

"Well I didn't think there was a need to run away from someone who punches as hard as a three-year-old girl."

"Fuck you." Vergil scowled and swiped his sword at Dante's face, hoping to finally remove that cocky grin of his brother's for good.

Dante was too fast of course and easily dodged the blade. "Ooh. That hurt Verg. You cut me real deep that time."

"No." Vergil hissed. "But I will."

"Someone's confident." Dante smiled fearlessly and continued to meet Vergil's sword with his own, "Think you've been spending too much time around me."

"You have no idea." Vergil growled and became increasingly annoyed as his attacks amounted to nothing more than sparks as Dante persistently blocked his sword. Eventually his desperation took over his sense and he thrust his sword forward as if joisting. Dante simply sidestepped him, grabbed his brother's wrist and jerked his arm down over his bent knee. Vergil howled in agony and dropped his sword as his elbow snapped and bent in an unnatural direction. Dante pushed his twin's sword across the street with his foot and delivered a high roundhouse kick to his head, launching him backwards and into a parked car.

"You were saying?" Dante muttered and approached his brother's splayed form on the hood of a beat-up old Buick. Vergil panted and gasped as he tried to move his broken arm. He gave up quickly as sharp jolts of pain erupted up his arm. Lying quiet seemed like the best solution at the moment.

And then cold, sharp steel was pressed to his throat and his eyes snapped open. He hadn't been aware that he'd even shut them. He gazed up at the face of his unhappy brother and bared his teeth in a show of pain and anger.

Dante frowned down at him and Vergil noted disappointment in his eyes. "That was short," the devil hunter said tonelessly. "You were so itching to fight before. I thought you'd be more of a challenge than this. Looks like you're still just all talk." Vergil growled as Dante retracted his sword and turned his back on him. "I got some paperwork to do so I'll see you around Bro. Maybe next time you won't be such a waste of my time…but I'm not holding my breath."

* * *

'These are the famous Spardas?' The violet-haired man thought incredulously as he watched Dante walk off, leaving Vergil lying injured on a parked car. It was rather pathetic really, the scene, and the figure found himself sharing the devil hunter's disappointment with how the battle had turned out. It had been a wretched display, nothing even remotely close to the battle he had been hoping for. Bickering children would have been more entertaining, though when it came down to it, that was essentially what the Sparda twins were. They were not the fierce fighters that he had been told they were and had been hoping to see.

"Pathetic," he told himself quietly for the umpteenth time.

_Is something the matter, Bane?_ An amused voice sounded in his head and he cringed.

"You tell me. Why am I wasting my time with these boys, Glyph? Devils or no, they're nothing special. Even the brother who won didn't stir me in any way. You're banking on the wrong boys."

_Oh am I? _Glyph laughed again in his mind. _We'll see about that. You've only witnessed Round 1. Don't make up your mind just yet about them. They're exactly what I'm looking for—and more._

A snort. "Somehow I doubt that."

_Well if you feel that strongly about them, then you are welcome to return. You'll just have to wait another millennium for a chance to be free. I know how much you like it here._

Bane growled and turned his glare for Glyph on the unmoving Sparda below. Vergil had only managed to sit up and was now nursing his arm. "I still don't see it."

_You remember their father, don't you?_

Bane shook his head. "They're nothing like him," he grumbled. "They bark more than they bite. I swear that devil hunter talks almost as much as you do."

Another chuckle _Well that's quite a feat. I like him already._

"And I don't."

Glyph sighed dramatically _So difficult to please you, Bane-boy._ _And what about the other one. How do you feel about him?_

"He's a moody prick."

_Then you have much in common._

"Save it Glyph," Bane growled, "I'm packing it in. You're not convincing anyone. These guys are nothing."

_You didn't think that yesterday._ _You were so excited for this battle. It's rare I see a smile on your face and you were positively beaming. Are they really that much of a disappointment? You had such high hopes for them._

"No," Bane countered. "You did. And you made me believe it as well. What I saw yesterday was promise. What I got today was a giant temper tantrum. I didn't honestly expect that all the twins would do is bicker and slap each other around a bit. Where is the power we saw in their father? It obviously wasn't passed down to his kids."

_So you believe that the devil hunting one defeated the Dark One with a few well-placed insults and a couple bitch slaps?_

"…no…but he didn't show any of that power today. What does it take for them to let it all loose?"

_Well that's our job to find out, now isn't it? We've never had trouble before. Just bring them in. You won't have much difficulty if they're as weak as you seem to think they are._

"I still think it's a waste of t-…" Bane drifted off as he watched a dark aura surround Vergil and charge up to a brilliant blue. No longer was his power masked and Bane was nearly astounded by the strong energy he felt. The power of Sparda definitely flowed through at least this twin's veins.

Vergil stood tall in his devil form, his wings outstretched. He cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders before testing the strength in his formerly injured arm by swinging out his blade a few times. Pleased that he had regained his fighting form, he stalked back towards DMC with great authority. Bane held his breath. Things were finally going to get interesting.

_It's a waste of what Bane-boy?_ Glyph piped up, sensing the sudden anticipation Bane felt.

"Never mind," the violet-haired man snapped. "Round 2 is about to begin. I'll see you in a bit."

_I look forward to it. _Bane could picture Glyph's pleased grin as he said it _Hurry home and don't forget to bring home both our new friends._

"Wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

Well you guys are lucky. I nearly ended it at nearly half this length, and at a cliff ending to boot, but decided since I haven't updating in a long long time, I'd give you guys a break.

Let me know what you think.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW


	4. Round 2

Ok. Had most of this written for a while but was too busy and lazy to get around to fixing it up. Sorry for the wait guys and Thanks as always for the reviews.  
Enjoy**

* * *

Bane of Existence**

**Chapter 4: _Round 2_**

The doors to DMC burst open and smashed on the opposite walls of the building as Vergil made his grand entrance. Dante didn't even flinch and looked up slowly to frown at his unwelcome visitor for the second time that evening. "Didn't we just do this, Bro?" he asked despairingly. "I think you missed the concept of throwing in the towel."

"I wasn't ready," Vergil contested, making Dante sigh and mutter unhappily.

"Sure looked like it to me," he said.

"Really? And how does this look?" Vergil snapped, unleashing some energy that purposely missed Dante but swept by close enough to his face that it rustled his hair.

Dante sighed and closed his eyes. "Looks like Round 2," he muttered unhappily.

"Very observant, Brother."

"Tch," Dante rolled his eyes and stood. Resigned to his fate and not needing a second invitation, he grabbed his sword moodily and approached his brother. "Move it or lose it Sweet cheeks." He shoved by and wished that he could have slammed the door in Vergil's face on the way out, but unfortunately the doors no longer existed. Dante wondered why he kept getting them fixed in the first place since they all came with a death wish anyway. Nobody entering DMC seemed to grasp the concept of twisting a door handle.

Dante heard his brother turn on his heel to follow and couldn't resist spinning back and punching him across the room. It was a low blow, but well worth it. Vergil hadn't seen a move like that coming from him. It was more his brother's style.

Vergil climbed to his feet, rubbing his jaw. He glared across at Dante, but couldn't help being slightly amused. It seemed they'd both been spending too much time around each other and had adopted one another's tactics.

"Now who does this remind me of?" he commented dryly.

Dante snorted but otherwise ignored the comment. "Get your ass out here Verg. I'm not trashing my place any more than it already is."

Vergil chuckled. "Really? And what if I were to do it for you?"

Before Dante could respond, Vergil amassed a large amount of energy and let it spread out around him. A huge shockwave encircled the interior of DMC and within seconds, what remained of the place could to fit inside a matchbox.

Vergil stood unscathed in the center of the destruction, reverted back to his human form. "So what do you think of the redecorating, Brother?" he asked while grinning, "Call it Extreme Feng Shui, if you like."

Dante's jaw went slack but his eyes turned colder than before. Sure his place of business had been damaged before, but no one had ever taken it to this extreme. Leave it to the Spardas to go completely overboard.

"What's the matter Dantekins? You look as if you're about ready to cry," Vergil leered, "Are you not happy with the renovations? I thought you'd feel more at home working in a pigsty. But I suppose I was mistaken."

Dante swallowed back his anger and looked away as Vergil traipsed through the rubble to join him on the street. An obliterated building was going to be a lot harder to fix than a few broken doors. He was not looking forward to having to rebuild DMC. And he was equally not pleased about his brother's amusement over it.

When Vergil started laughing loudly, Dante snapped his eyes back to him. He had obviously missed the joke, because he didn't find anything even remotely funny just now. "What the fuck is so funny?" Dante growled.

Vergil's laughter died down some but in its place he held an uncharacteristically wide smile. "You are, Brother. You're speechless. For once in my life, I said something and you did not have a smart assed comment to say in return."

"Yeah well-"

"Quiet," Vergil interrupted harshly, raising a hand to silence him, "I'm savouring the moment."

Dante growled and clenched his fist around his sword. "Savour THIS!" he yelled and rushed forward, but swiped nothing but air. His brother laughed and circled around him.

"Such anger. I wonder what could be the cause." Vergil kicked out at the back of Dante's legs and dropped him. Dante quickly flipped onto his back and brought his sword up to block a moment before Vergil's pierced his stomach. He thrust a foot up to knock his brother's blade away and quickly got to his feet.

He had to admit that Vergil seemed to be on his game again, and finally fighting with the same spirit that he did normally. Vergil noticed this too and it made both Spardas wonder why he had gone down so easily before. It had been far too quick. Only mortals were incapacitated by a broken arm.

"Looks like you got the hang of your sword again Verg." Dante observed. "I would have offered you instruction before if I hadn't thought you were a lost cause. You were beyond pathetic before. What happened? It made me more embarrassed than usual to be your brother."

A grunt. Vergil clanged his blade with Dante's and gave a meager shrug. He twisted around and attempted to slash at his back. "Apologies Brother. I was feeling a little under the weather a moment ago, but it seems to have passed, thankfully."

"Yeah," Dante agreed sarcastically. "I hear those 24 'second' flues are going around."

"Indeed," Vergil nodded and blasted Dante with a ball of energy. Dante crouched to absorb the attack with his sword.

"Still," the devil hunter continued, charging back up to attack, "That wasn't like you. I've never ended a fight THAT easily before." He managed to crack Vergil in the shoulder with the hilt of his sword and Vergil hissed and stepped back.

"I know," his twin answered gruffly, rubbing the instant bruise, "So let us just forget it ever happened and move on."

Until Dante had brought it up, Vergil had been hoping that the first half of the battle hadn't been as pathetic as it had seemed, but apparently that wasn't the case.

It was strange, but all of a sudden Vergil had felt his entire power leave him. When his arm had been broken, he'd been just as powerful as any mortal out there, or perhaps even less. He had been relying completely on his body's physical strength when he'd made the final charge at Dante. For an entire couple of minutes, he'd been helpless, and then in a wave, his power had returned full force. Vergil couldn't explain what had occurred, and it slightly worried him, but he could see no point in informing his brother about it.

"But-"

"Drop it Dante. It's in the past so leave it there. Focus instead on the beating you are about to receive."

Dante only laughed at the danger in his twin's voice. "Shouldn't I focus on 'preventing' said beating?" he drawled.  
Vergil rolled his. "You know what I meant, Brother. Just shut up and swing your sword already."  
"Aye, mon capitaine." Dante said with an exaggerated salute and a half smirk. He immediately bent forward to deliver a spinning kick to Vergil's midsection, which made his twin grunt and stumble back a step.  
"That wasn't your sword," Vergil growled, holding his sore stomach.  
Dante shrugged. "Since when do I actually listen you?"  
"Touché."

Narrowing his eyes, Vergil decided to ramp up his attacks. He lashed out with his sword at a furious speed that gave Dante less than a second to react between strikes. But the devil hunter was used to his brother's zeal and he was able to block each attack easily. Dante didn't mind being put on the defensive anyway. He expended far less energy blocking than his brother did while swinging madly and eventually Vergil would tire himself out and give Dante the opportunity to lunge.  
Dante edged back as Vergil once again struck forward. There was plenty of space on the street to spread out so he wasn't worried about getting cornered. It was far better than fighting inside DMC, or at least it would have been had his office not just been destroyed.

Distracted by mourning thoughts of his former place of business, Dante worked on autopilot, raising his sword to block as Vergil's came crashing down from above. He did not notice or wonder why Vergil was continuously angling his sword towards his head. He did not realize that his brother was merely trying to keep his attention above him and not on where he was gradually being pushed back.

A tingle ran up Dante's arm as Vergil slashed down particularly hard. Dante was already falling when he realized that he'd lost his footing, having bypassed a wooden barrier blocking off a five-foot square section of ripped up concrete. He had been so intent on keeping his head that he'd lost it and had completely forgotten that this half of the street was currently being repaved. He'd also somehow missed the warning pylons.  
He landed with a thud and hissed as the chewed up rubble dug into his back. Vergil made sure he felt it by pressing down on his chest to keep him lying flat. Dante reached up to remove his foot and stopped, hands hovering in mid air, when Vergil aimed his sword at his throat.  
"No. I wouldn't do that, Dear Brother."  
Dante bared his teeth. "Not that I don't appreciate a rest, but I'd like to mention that this hurts like a sonuvabitch."  
"I'll have to take your word for it," Vergil responded with a tired smirk.  
Dante glared and tried to shift but it was no use and Vergil pressed down with his foot to keep him from struggling anyway. "So what?" Dante winced, giving up on finding any sort of comfort in his current position, "You going to just stand there all night until I get the road permanently etched into my back?"  
Vergil shrugged. "The possibility is out there."  
"Could get pretty boring," Dante scowled and saw Vergil grin in turn.  
"Oh no," he shook his head, "Seeing you in discomfort never bores me." Vergil shifted more of his weight onto the foot that was holding Dante down and the devil hunter winced and narrowed his eyes. Vergil smirked. "No. I don't expect this will get old for a while."  
Dante growled deeply. "Hate to disagree but..." He reached for his brother's leg again but was stopped for the second time by Vergil's sword, and this time he was given a warning slash to his forearm.  
Dante jerked his arm back and hissed. He wanted to grip the stinging wound, but unfortunately could not cross his arms over his body because Vergil was currently standing on him. He let his arm drop to the gravel and glowered up at his smirking brother, clenching his fist tight in a show of pain.  
"Tsk tsk, Brother," Vergil scolded, "Whoever said the matter was open for debate?" He levelled his sword back on Dante's neck and narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Move again," he warned, "And I'll slice something a little more critical than your arm." The tip of his blade poked lightly into Dante's neck and a thin stream of blood trickled down. "Understand?"  
Dante gritted his teeth and refused to answer. He didn't approve of being handled like a child. Vergil took this as a further sign of disrespect and snarled. "YES OR NO, DANTE?" he shouted, standing fully on his brother's stomach in order to free up his other leg to kick Dante in the face. The devil hunter's neck popped loudly as his head swung completely to the right.  
"Answer me." Vergil commanded.  
Dante moaned and slowly turned his head back to face Vergil, but his eyes were half-lidded and glazed. He hadn't cried out when Vergil had kicked him because the action had been too unexpected and had immediately dazed him. Now, as it was, he was still having extreme difficulty trying to piece together what had occurred to make him feel as if he was floating at a high altitude while jackhammers were having a fiesta in his head. There was an extreme pressure in his ears and for the life of him, Dante could not understand why his face was throbbing and covered in warm wetness that tasted mildly coppery.

Vergil snarled, realizing he wouldn't get an answer from his brother. He stepped off Dante's chest and kicked him in the side to get some sort of reaction, which ended up being a small whimper that led into a lengthy groan.

Dante slowly opened his eyes wider as the pounding in his head slightly dissipated, though the thumping in his ears was still a great discomfort. He fixed his blurred gaze on his brother and bared his teeth. "No," he said darkly, as a few more jackhammers left the party and he could think a little easier.

Vergil was puzzled for moment by the single uttered word before he realized that it had been a response to his question. He smirked and placed his foot back on Dante's chest and pressed down again. "Of course not. You always did have a thick head b-"

"Bored yet?" Dante interrupted, half speaking, half groaning the sentence.

Vergil snorted. "Not even close."

"Too bad," Dante grimaced as he decided that enough was enough. "I hate to cut your good time short then," he said gruffly and charged up the power within. He transformed into his devil form and used the appearance of this wings to thrust himself up.  
Vergil, not expecting the sudden movement, was knocked off-balance and stumbled back a few feet. Dante immediately snatched his sword from the road and took a large swipe at his brother's torso, which Vergil avoided by sheer millimeters. It may have hit its mark had Dante not been so dizzy still.

The devil hunter wobbled on his feet a little and gripped his head, scrunching his eyes tight. "God," he winced, realizing that catapulting himself to his feet had not been a wise choice, given that he was sure he had a slight concussion. He felt like he was getting off a really bad bender, though the pain in his head meant nothing as Vergil rushed forward and impaled him with his sword.

Dante cried out and abruptly fell to his knees as the shining steel tore through his insides and exited out his back. Vergil pushed with his foot against Dante's shoulder to remove him from his sword and stepped back. Dante dropped to the road and curled up on himself, gripping his chest and gasping. Vergil narrowed his eyes.

Now who was being pathetic?

Bane narrowed his gaze along with the dark twin. Although marginally more entertaining, Round 2 of the Sparda boys' fight had still failed to live up to his expectations.

"What is this?" he groused, "Do they take turns being pathetic?"

'_You're so difficult to please, Bane.'_

The violet-haired man growled. He could almost picture Glyph's ridiculous pout.

"What the hell is wrong with them?" he said angrily, "One minute they're fighting and the next, one of them is lying on the ground, moaning like a child with a scraped knee."

'_Actually, I believe children cry or whine, Bane-boy.'_

"You know what I meant."

'True. But you do realize that this is how battles work? Individuals fight and then one of them is wounded and the fight is over and someone becomes the victor?'

Bane growled. "But THIS is NOT how I expected the battle to finish. You can't possibly convince me that THIS is all the Sparda twins have in them. The devil hunter was impaled with a sword before and he did not lay on the ground in a worthless heap. Something is not right here."

'_Well…You know how impatient I am little Bane…"_

Bane bared his teeth. "You didn't." he growled at the voice in his head.

A soft chuckle. '_I couldn't wait until you brought them back. I wanted a small sample of each.'_

Bane looked down on the Spardas darkly. "You could have told me you were stealing their powers."

'_Oh but then I would miss seeing that cute little shade of red you turn when you're angry.'_

Bane chose to ignore that. "Do they have their powers back now?"

'_Of course. It was just a little taste.'_

"Good."

'_Care to guess which twin has the better power?'_

"No. You want both so it doesn't matter."

Glyph sighed. '_Fine. Don't be any fun.'_

"I didn't plan on it."

'_Just bring them in. My little sampling has made me anxious for more.'_

Bane rolled his eyes. "I'm sure it has."

'_Hurry home Bane.'_

A nod. "Yeah."

* * *

Alright. So there's another chapter. Probably would have been longer if I didn't have so much updating to do. Hope it was enjoyable anyway.

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